i want to go on a road trip...

...to anywhere.

i need out.

'the soul in a refraction of icicles.

a moment hanging like breath on air.

& yet life - even still life - is not still.

the story is not a story

if it does not unravel.

your eyes you may cast downward,

but the heart is locked in the chest

& must beat forever forward'

- m. perry

mas·och·ism

gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc.,

inflicted or imposed on oneself,

 either as a result of one's own actions

 or the actions of others, 

especially the tendency to 

seek this form of gratification.