do your part.

i did my part.
will you do yours?

preferences.

i think it's sad when people are incapable of being alone.
i was that way at one time.

however...
i find it equally sad when someone begins to prefer it.
this is me right now.

the search for balance continues...

on my own two feet.

so i'm doing a community health rotation right now
and i've come to realize that i will
never be a community nurse.

i miss the chaos of the hospital far too much.

other realizations:

i am backing off from dating for awhile.
the past few excursions i've had over the past while
have been disappointing
to say the least.

i'm not willing to play games.
no two-day rule,
no chasing,
no more giving yet never taking.
i'm done for now.
it was fun over the summer
but i have far more important shit on my plate
that i need to
focus my energy on right now.

i feel relieved.

while i'm happy that i don't instantly
get all goo-goo-ga-ga
over the first guy that asks me out,
i am also disappointed that
no one has brought this out in me
in a very long time.

lame sauce.

in other random news,
i went through all the files on my computer today
and purged a lot of old stuff from my past,
including the deletion of nearly all evidence
of the existence of the guy
that most people know as being the angriest dude around.
it was a cathartic experience,
something i should have done a long time ago.

i'm better off.
and while i long for the spark that eludes me,
i am grateful and proud to be standing here right now,
on my own two feet.

underneath this smile lies everything.

here's some shitty video i took at pearl jam on saturday.
the audio is great, but i had to be discreet with the recording,
hence the poor video quality.

anyhow,
it was one of the best concerts i've been to for sure.
part of me wanted to quit nursing school
to become eddie vedder's sex slave.
but here i am sitting here surrounded by textbooks
just like any other sunday.

i miss getting butterflies.
i'm pretty sure the angry ex from going on 2 years ago
stomped them all to death.

and another...


hearts and thoughts they fade....fade away.

hello, september.

i spent part of my long weekend
wandering aimlessly in the bush.

it was awesome.

then, i randomly came across this:

which at the time, i had no idea what it was...
i opened it half-expecting to find bugs or
someone's head or something else grotesque inside.

but this is what i found:
oops! kinda rad.

i also shot tin cans with a BB gun,
drank wine,
& ate like a fat man all weekend.

now, to hit the books...