on my own two feet.

so i'm doing a community health rotation right now
and i've come to realize that i will
never be a community nurse.

i miss the chaos of the hospital far too much.

other realizations:

i am backing off from dating for awhile.
the past few excursions i've had over the past while
have been disappointing
to say the least.

i'm not willing to play games.
no two-day rule,
no chasing,
no more giving yet never taking.
i'm done for now.
it was fun over the summer
but i have far more important shit on my plate
that i need to
focus my energy on right now.

i feel relieved.

while i'm happy that i don't instantly
get all goo-goo-ga-ga
over the first guy that asks me out,
i am also disappointed that
no one has brought this out in me
in a very long time.

lame sauce.

in other random news,
i went through all the files on my computer today
and purged a lot of old stuff from my past,
including the deletion of nearly all evidence
of the existence of the guy
that most people know as being the angriest dude around.
it was a cathartic experience,
something i should have done a long time ago.

i'm better off.
and while i long for the spark that eludes me,
i am grateful and proud to be standing here right now,
on my own two feet.